e v o l u t i o n

to be read while listening to David Hunt's "Shower Me with Love"

What is this life? Is it scrounging to make enough money to eat and clothe your children? Is it the drudge of working 40 mindless hours, spending 8 sleeping, and the last precious 8 in front of the TV? I'm not like the strong ones, who God created to be able to struggle and fight for an existence in a bleak world of no opportunities. What did You do when You created me? So sensitive. A fragile and needy orchid among a field of sturdy dandelions. How do they go from day to day, toiling to make ends meet? Some actually seem satisfied. I wonder if I can ever be? Not without beauty I know that. Life is nothing to me without it. Beauty, love, light, spirit - these are my food. I will die of starvation without them. This life is more than material sustenance - by God, this life has to be mysterious powers of the spirit in order for me to live it. How could God make one who is so dissatisfied with what so many long for? Who am I to want so much light, when so many are living with none? Do they even know it exists? ...Maybe that's why I'm here. Can I shine the Sun? This weak, needy child? Can she, who was made so unable, be of use? Nothing do I hope for more than this. Please God, use me. Let me be for something. Let my inadequacies be my tools. Let the way I was made, with all these "flaws", serve Your Beauty. Can I do this? My soul prays for it. Will God support me in this? Will the Ocean of the Spirit flow to my aid if I remember what I cam here for? Please God, let it be so.

Mitad del Mundo

Hello world.

A lot...of course...has happened since I last blogged. Most notably, my grandfather passed away on Dec 1st. He was the person who thought the world of me no matter what I did. I can say with all certainty that he was the best grandfather of all time. My friends who knew him can attest to that. He was also a true servant of God. He was there for people. 500 of them showed up at his funeral to pay their respects. At some point I'd love to tell you more about him. But now is not the right time for me.

Also, I'm currently in Ecuador. Yesterday I went horse back riding on a VOLCANO! That was pretty dang neat. I've been here, staying with my friend Amir and his family, since the 1st. I'll be back in the States on Mon the 12th. I've done and seen some pretty amazing stuff...learned a lot about some great cultures...but the thing that being here has really taught me is that everything is nothing without loved ones to share it with. Amir's family is GREAT, don't get me wrong...in fact, they may be some of the most hospitable people I've ever had the honor of meeting...but I miss my people. I want someone to share all this with. People are where it's at. Love and light. That's everything.

I hope you are all well. Don't waste a second of the gift of time that God has bestowed upon you.

Amor via Ecuador!