"O Son of Man! The true lover yearneth for tribulation even as doth the rebel for forgiveness and the sinful for mercy."
~Baha'u'llah, Hidden Word #49 from the Arabic
Scene 1
5:30pm
While driving to Northbrook to facilitate a weekly jr. youth group, I am praying that my desire to feel close to and commune with God can intensify. Music is a surefire way for me to tap into my deep feelings of love and longing for God, but I was praying for even more ways to help me feel that intense desire.
Scene 2
8:30pm
On my way home from the jr. youth group, I am side swiped by a speeding car. I loose my passenger side mirror, a small panel from the door, and my front bumper is crack in half and dragging on the ground. I was not hurt, and the car is still drivable - thank goodness! I need that thing! The police officer on the scene finally gets everything wrapped up around 11:30pm, after we've gone to the station and singed papers, etc.
Scene 3
Midnight
I'm in my room, wrapped in my evening prayers, feeling grateful for being protected from something worse, and attempting to let go of feeling like I have to protect myself and be tough all the time and take care of every situation, and generally trying to let go of the stress of dealing with the accident, when this overwhelming desire to flee this world and run to God comes over me. I am in tears! All I want is to shun this world and go home. I don't want to say prayers about protection, or ask anything from Him, all I want IS Him. And then it hits me... I knew in my that tribulations were sent to us so we would yearn for the spiritual world and want nothing to do with this world (among other things), but I was experiencing, in the moment, how that was true. Now, a car accident is no major tribulation, THAT'S for sure. But, I am humbled and thankful and amazed at how quickly my prayer was answered. Nothing is better than that feeling - feeling like ALL you want in the WHOLE world is to be close to your Beloved. That is the most wonderful sadness. I wouldn't trade that for anything. And if tribulation brings it on... well, I MIGHT be yearning for a LITTLE bit of it.
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